Hannibal LANter: I will listen now. You were ten years into your network engineering career. You went to work with colleagues on an app and microservices ranch in Montana. And…?
Clarice Engineerling: [tears begin forming in her eyes] And one morning, I just ran away.
Hannibal LANter: No “just”, Clarice. What set you off? You started troubleshooting the application user experience issue at what time?
Clarice Engineerling: Early, still dark.
Hannibal LANter: Then something threw you didn’t it? Something you couldn’t place your finger on?
Clarice Engineerling: I heard a strange noise.
Hannibal LANter: What was it?
Clarice Engineerling: It was… screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child’s voice.
Hannibal LANter: What did you do?
Clarice Engineerling: I went down to the NOC. I crept up into the control center. I was so scared to look at the monitors, but I had to.
Hannibal LANter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?
Clarice Engineerling: LANs. The LANs were screaming.
Hannibal LANter: The NOC staff couldn’t figure out if the user experience issue was due to the LAN or something on the Internet?
Clarice Engineerling: And they were screaming.
Hannibal LANter: And you ran away?
Clarice Engineerling: No. First I tried to solve the problem. I… I looked at all the SNMP and traffic tools and ran as many CLI console commands as I could, but they wouldn’t tell me anything conclusive about if the app issue was linked to the LANs. They just stood there, confused. They couldn’t help.
Hannibal LANter: But you could and you did, didn’t you?
Clarice Engineerling: Yes. I researched Network Intelligence, and found out that with visibility from app to network to device layer and even to BGP, I could save the app and user experience. And I carried that knowledge and ran away as fast as I could to get someone to invest in it..
Hannibal LANter: Where were you going, Clarice?
Clarice Engineerling: I don’t know. I didn’t have any support, any political cover and it was very cold, very cold. I thought, I thought if I could convince just one person, but… the, the resistance was so heavy. So heavy. I didn’t get more than a few miles when the legacy network tools team picked me up. The manager was so angry he sent me to live at the network engineering orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the app ranch again.
Hannibal LANter: What became of the user experience, Clarice?
Clarice Engineerling: They killed it.
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